The Headmaster’s Flame, chapter by chapter...
It’s best to read the book from Chapter 1, for maximum surprise and enjoyment - and much of the humour and references only make sense that way...
...But here’s a rundown of the chapters that make up The Headmaster’s Flame...
We meet school loner Natalia and her alky mum. Today, a well-dressed visitor at school asks her a surprising question.
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There's a new man in the Head's office who does something Natalia will never forget.
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Shy but ardent 15-year old Natalia is summoned for a cuppa with the new boisterous Headmaster.
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Natalia is in utter disbelief when the new naughty Headmaster suggests firing her worst teachers.
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Everyone is talking about the new Head! He catches Natalia on the stairs and sets her a surprise mission.
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Neill's not impressed with the school dinners, but he's hired a fit new teacher for Natalia's least favourite lesson.
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Natalia confides in a long naughty convo with the new outrageous Headmaster and he confesses a misdemeanour.
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Neill's called to cover an English lesson and Natalia is determined to impress him, but he'll out-shock her by the end!
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Neill, after grabbing hold of Natalia at the end of English, makes two new bold requests for her insights.
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Natalia is dumbfounded to be asked to choose the school trip, but Neill can tell she's not totally happy with the new girl in her class.
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Neill declares a huge upheaval to the uniform at Thornwood High - but why is Natalia is blushing from ear to ear?
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Natalia helps Neill with an Excel spreadsheet but will she find out if he's married?
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Neill shocks Natalia when the contents of her lunchbox become a performance for his eyes only.
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Natalia helps Neill with a most un-PC government grant proposal but she'll have demands of her own!
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Headmaster Neill chases the crying Natalia to prise the truth from her about her bullies.
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What happens with the Headmaster in the bike shed has Natalia awake all night.
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Chapter 17: State of Suspension
On a surprise trip out, will Natalia's jaw drop far enough for her Headmaster to slip something in there?
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Natalia gets to know her Headmaster a little better, but what will she say to his proposal after dark?
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It's school trip time to Bronte's Haworth with the Headmaster of Natalia's dreams.
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Will anyone notice the Head's fondness for latching onto Natalia all round the Bronte Parsonage Museum?
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Chapter 21: Cabinet of Curiosities
Headteacher's pet Natalia is sad to be lonely on the school trip - till he suggests taking her down the pub.
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Chapter 22: Sweet Shop Stomach
A treat for Natalia that makes her feel like Cinderella, whom Prince Charming Neill is falling smitten with.
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The Head makes a deal with Natalia that she'll bake him a cake if he shags the PE teacher - or he'll fix her cracked phone screen.
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Did Neill shag PE teacher Miss Barnes, and will the fitness freak be eating Banana Pound Cake?
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Bad Santa is about to make the school's eyes pop out of their heads - and Natalia's pants quite moist.
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A mysterious leggy blonde arrives at Thornwood and Headmaster Neill gives Natalia a lesson in how to ogle.
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Natalia receives an unexpected Christmas gift and bumps into an old friend - whilst her mum picks up a new beau.
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Natalia picks a bone with Neill for making Mrs Williams suspicious, but Neill takes Natalia to Stratstone for a surprise she won't forget in a hurry.
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Natalia is flabbergasted by her Head's proposal for her 16th birthday, but is he serious?
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Natalia finds herself surrounded by her Headmaster's loud London friends and 'learning on the job' to make their girlfriend act convincing.
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On their way to the Tate Modern, Natalia is blown away by a kissing lesson from Neill on Blackfriar's Bridge.
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Northern Natalia has a day of bliss when Neill takes her to Borough Market after they get the munchies in Hyde Park.
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Natalia is mortified after Neill reveals his thoughts on what happened in the hotel.
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Back at school, Natalia is sent to the Head's office for texting in class - and he's going to relish the chance to detain her!
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Chapter 35: Ready, Steady, Smut!
Ofsted are coming to Thornwood! Nervous Neill seeks Natalia's help in exchange for fries, fags and smutty stories.
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The past bites Neill in the bottom when an Ofsted inspection at Thornwood High puts him in a compromising situation.
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Natalia finds herself under the spell of sexting, but crass goes to crash when her life turns fifty shades of grey at home and school.
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Bullied Natalia's being rescued to her Headmaster's house for dinner, a thimble of wine and bucketloads of bawdy conversation.
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Natalia tasks her Head to write her Shakespearean wanknotes all week but he's got rules she must play by his own firm hand!
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The Valentine's Charity Fair at Thornwood High School turns into a lewd riot when Neill puts a gender neutral sign on the girls' toilets.
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Headmaster Neill and his school pupil Natalia get hot and bothered on his sofa watching kinky movie Secretary.
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Chapter 42: Mad Shagger's Tea Party
A boozy game of Truth of Dare with the Headmaster's lairy London friends leads to disaster, but will they discover Natalia is really 16?
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Neill and Natalia spend an afternoon watching Lady Chatterley’s Lover and he might even let her put her hand 'there' again.
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It's quim-tuple perfect! Natalia fast cures a sick Headmaster with a deal to wear a sexy red leotard in PE.
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Chapter 46: Alice in Blunderland
Is someone about to catch the Headmaster trousers-down with Natalia? And will the school's vibrator video leaked online scupper the million pound grant?
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A white lie becomes a white knuckle ride for Natalia when he gets her naked by the fire.
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Natalia finally gets a spanking and it's not for the faint-hearted. What will happen to those knickers she's been wearing for 4 days?
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Natalia is Neill's kitty, doggie - and now she'll have a taste of being a carrier pigeon when she finds her lunch money stuffed in a purse she didn't expect.
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Neill's on a steak lunch to finalise the million pounder, but returns for a surprise date night with virgin schoolgirl Natalia and two bananas.
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It's Hump Day, will Natalia and Neill get it on - or will her mum disturb the proceedings? Neill surprises Natalia in a French lesson, whilst they'll become fast penpals.
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Chapter 52: Cat with the Cream
Was Neill's mic-drop profession of love just to get into her pants before he porks the English teacher? And who's waiting for her at the cottage?
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How does a Head with his balls bewitched by a schoolgirl present Assembly? Prankster Neill's got a trick or two up his sleeve for nosey teachers.
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Will Neill taking Natalia to a nightclub be a risk too far? He gets hold of a pot of Brylcreem to show her 'safe' sex, and stuffs something else in her mouth to keep her quiet.
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Condom-shirking Neill's tasked Natalia with writing pervy poetry whilst she goes on a wild goose chase through the British medical system to get the pill.
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Chapter 56: Strawberry Pavlova
Natalia's new bestie Alana gives her a transformation, whilst she teaches her smutty Headmaster boyfriend a thing or two about blood - if she can get off her knees from BJs.
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Headmaster Neill is giving schoolgirl Natalia a deep throat lesson when someone unexpected comes.
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Natalia's raising cash by blowing the Head, pawning his cuffs, and trying to win the School Egg Hunt, but it'll be arse up for her if she fails his filthy Creme Egg-zam!
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Chapter 59: Father of the Bribe
Shit hits the fan when a senior staff member finds out about the forbidden lovers. But is Natalia finally going to meet her long-lost dad?
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The week's tension explodes in drama. Will they get off on their filthy Welsh holiday or is this the end of the Headmaster and his Flame?
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Natalia's in Wales... but with who, and in what state after the events of that week? Will she be due a resurrection for Easter Sunday?
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